The Book of Jezebel - seen above in BLAD form, which is to say, a 300-page book abridged into an 8-page sample for booksellers - is done. It is not only done, but is currently in the hands of a printer somewhere in Massachusetts, where the hundreds of digital files we’ve written, edited, illustrated, designed, fact-checked, copyedited and tweaked will be converted into a bound book available for sale on October 22, 2013. (Pre-order it here.)
I wrote part of this and soon it will be a real girl!
"When Danielle takes a seat at the table, she wrestles with two objects—book and vibrator—that have been wielded as tools of both female oppression and liberation. Then the video camera clicks on, and Danielle becomes an object of our gaze, too. In Still Life With Woodpecker, the person-as-object changes in nature based on who’s watching. Take the color of a person’s hair. The princess is a redhead. The Woodpecker is a redhead. Danielle is a redhead. Tom Robbins is a redhead. I’m a redhead, too. ‘Red hair is caused by sugar and lust,’ a statuesque blonde woman tells the princess in the book. ‘Highly evolved beings do not indulge in sugar and lust.” Is lust the natural enemy of human advancement? Or is it that, in a culture that has systematically oppressed the sexuality of women, there’s something evolved about accepting the human object as it really is?”
In 2-Headed Shark Attack, “Carmen Electra is a doctor,” Horton tells me with a mix of glee and disdain. The question is: For the love of God, why?
“The short answer is: We don’t know,” says David Michael Latt, the Asylum’s co-founder and head of physical production, who pushes as many as 25 films into production each year. “It’s not like we said, ‘There aren’t enough crappy B-level movies out there, so we must corner that market!’ We don’t really know the consumer. The consumer is too big and too fractionalized. All we know is we’re making a film for Netflix, and they tell us what they want.”
"Research shows a typical A-cup boob weighs in at 0.43 of a pound. Every additional cup size adds another 0.44 of a pound. That means a hurdler with a double-D chest carries more than 4 pounds of additional weight with her on every leap. And when they get moving, the nipples on a C- or D-cup breast can accelerate up to 45 mph in one second — faster than a Ferrari. In an hour of moderate jogging, a pair of breasts will bounce several thousand times. For the modern athlete, the question isn’t whether breasts get in the way — it’s a question of how to compete around them.”
— “You Can Only Hope to Contain Them,” ESPN The Magazine
— So we’re ready to forgive Eliot Spitzer. But what happens to Ashley Dupre?
|Megan:||i want to agree with you on affleck but he's so hottttt with that beard and you want to take that away from me|
|Amanda:||EW you like ben affleck???|
|Amanda:||if he had gone full 1979 mustache i MIGHT accept. MEGAN|
|Megan:||you DON'T like ben affleck?!?|
|Amanda:||BEN AFFLECK IS BOSTON|
|Amanda:||BOSTON IS BEN AFFLECK|
|Megan:||damon is way more boston|
|Amanda:||no way!! damon has RECOVERED from his boston period.|
|Megan:||noooo damon is good will hunting. good will hunting is boston|
|Amanda:||Affleck is Matt Damon minus talent. all that is left is Boston with a side of beefcake|
|Megan:||affleck is talented! you are insane|
|Amanda:||as an actor????????????????????????????????|
|Megan:||you're making me question everything about this friendship|
missed you guys